I like the way you built the tension here, and I'm looking forward to where it goes next. I also look forward to more stories in this AU..(the Rhys one is very promising!)

I haven't commented on Toshi before, but just apropos of your comment above, I don't see her as a Mary Sue. Also weren't the children naughty and got themselves into trouble in that previous story? So I'm surprised you had that reaction from someone. I have a personal thing of not liking The Doctor in romantic or sexual situations, I never read it. I think it is a childhood thing, I can't let go of my childhood non sexual hero as it were. Anyhow that is my problem, as a writer you can do what you like of course, but I think I just didn't warm to Toshi as much purely because of that. I also have a thing about RTD and his Dr worship, I got very sick of all the falling in love with the Dr nonsense. I think a lot of viewers did, which is why they went so far in the opposite direction with Donna.

Anyhow I think what I'm saying is that I love this AU, I think my favourite thing about it is Tardis Ianto, that is amazing. I do like your Owen as well. I think all the children are great characters. I'll just avoid any Dr sexxing bits and I'll be fine...